The holidays are upon us. At home, we are sipping hot chocolate and planning family get togethers, our hearts warm with joy, anticipating the people we haven’t seen for months. In the shelters across the U.S., there is a different kind of feeling that takes over when one realizes, it’s that time of year. There is no warm and fuzzy feeling, but instead, a cringe at the thought of packed shelters and an increase of euthanasia rates to make room for the never-ending holiday flow of owner surrenders.
Today, I want to tell you a story about a dog named Toby.
Toby was adopted from a shelter, one very much like Contra Costa Animal Services or Antioch Animal Services. Toby’s mom came in to the shelter as a stray but was pregnant. Legally, the shelter cannot alter an animal while it’s on its stray hold. Toby’s mom went into labor the first night she arrived at the shelter. She could have gone another week or 2, but the stress of the shelter made her body speed up the process.
Toby, a lab mix, was born with 5 other litter mates. As we all know, a shelter is no place for puppies because they are susceptible to illness. Toby and his litter mates had a rough beginning, contracting kennel cough, a very common upper repertory virus. Luckily all of them survived.
Toby and his litter mates were ready for adoption once they were 16 weeks old. The shelter is all he ever knew, so it was not a scary thing to him. One by one, each puppy would leave and not come back. This was confusing to Toby and his mother. Where were they going? What was happening? Great news, they were being adopted!
Finally, one day it was just Toby and his mom left. A young family came in looking for a new puppy to entertain the kids. Toby was a perfect fit because he loved to play and had a very gentle mouth.
That day, Toby left his mom, and it was the scariest day of his life. It was a day filled with firsts: Toby’s first time leaving his mom, Toby’s first car ride, Toby’s first time falling asleep in a lap, Toby’s first time having his very own ball, Toby’s first time to sleep in a crate all by himself without his mommy. Toby cried all night long, but slowly, as the days went by, it became easier. Toby decided he liked sleeping in a warm bed and having all the kids to play with. He had a full tummy every night and his heart was even fuller.
Through the years, Toby went with his family everywhere. Camping, hiking and car rides were his favorite. He even got to go Christmas tree shopping every year. As Toby got older, so did the kids in the house. Just like years before with his litter mates, one by one, they left the house, only they would come back to visit.
One day, Toby’s human brother came back to visit, and he brought his new baby. Toby thought it smelled funny and retreated to his crate where he found the most comfort. Toby was not so sure about kids anymore. He was older now and his body couldn’t keep up with them. Once the baby started to walk everyone just assumed Toby would be like he used to be and play with the kids, but this baby had no manners and would pull on Toby’s ears and even kicked him once. It hurt Toby’s feeling that no one noticed, so he began to try and communicate his feelings and growled at the baby to let the humans know he didn’t like what was happening. Quickly the baby was snatched up, and Toby was put in the other room.
Toby was so confused about why he was being punished. Now, every time the baby would come over, off to the back room Toby would sit.
The holidays came around and it was Toby’s 14th year of celebrating them with his family. His hips were getting weak and he couldn’t hear as good as he used to, but he still loved life and his family very much. He watched his human mom run around the house decorating. He always knew it was the holidays because the smell of cinnamon would fill the house. He loved that.
Then one day his human dad asked him if he wanted to go for a ride. It had been a long time since he had been for a ride, so he was very excited. Toby hopped into the front seat and his dad gave him a big bone. Wow, what a treat! In the back seat Toby could see his blanket he had since he was a puppy and his favorite ball. They drove that day for about an hour. Toby hung his head out the window and let the wind blow through his fur and took in the crisp, clean, smells of the winter.
They pulled up to a big building and his dad took him out of the car along with all of his things. They entered the building and Toby could smell and hear so many other dogs. He was okay until one dog passed him on his way out the front door and he could sense fear. The hairs stood up on the back of Toby’s neck.
Toby suddenly had a flashback from many years ago of a place just like this. He had not thought about his mom in so many years, but the smells and the noise brought him back to being a puppy and he suddenly remembered how much he missed his mom. He whimpered a bit. His human dad leaned down and told him it was okay.
Toby listened as his dad told the lady at the desk that “We are having people over for the holidays, and we just don’t feel right keeping him in the back room all week, and anyways he is getting older.” So they felt this was the best option.
A man came from the other side of the room and put a leash around Toby’s neck. His dad leaned down, gave him a hug and then the man started to softly tug on the leash. Toby didn’t budge as he watched his dad walk out the door, never once looking back. Toby just froze in fear.
Suddenly all the noises and smells were intensified. He was hard of hearing, but Toby could not seem to unhear all the yelps, screams and cries. The man led him to a door. As the door opened, everything became all consuming and overwhelming. Toby’s mind was racing. He wanted his dad, his toys, and his blanket.
Instead, he had to follow this stranger, he struggled a little because he really didn’t want to go with him.
Toby’s collar and leash where removed and hung on the side of a kennel as he was placed on the inside.
Across from his kennel were some puppies and a mom. He lay in that kennel so heartbroken. He remembered this place so many years ago, the feeling of being secure and warm with his mommy and litter mates. This time, it was not like that at all. He felt alone, scared and unsure about what was happening.
Toby thought long and hard about what he might have done and why his people didn’t love or want him anymore. All he could do was tuck his head in the corner and try to sleep, try to drown out the noises, the smells and not go crazy. He would watch people walk right past him without ever looking at him. One by one the puppies would leave and he was not even noticed.
Toby’s life had come full circle. His story is not unique in any way.
This is the reason shelter workers and volunteers have what is known as compassion fatigue. It’s painful to watch these animals walk in with tails wagging and eyes full of light and in a moment you can see all of that drain from them when they realize they are being abandoned. Some will be adopted, some will be pulled by rescues, some will go into foster homes, but some never make it out. Some die alone, brokenhearted and so confused.
My hope is that Toby’s story will change even one person’s mind about surrendering for convenience.
I promise you, your back room for a week while company is in town is a perfect place for your Toby. If you are traveling out of town for the holidays, you can board your animals. The shelter is not a retirement community.
Your pet should live at home with you until its dying day. No pet should have to spend its last days in the shelter just to make it easier on a human. A pet is “not for now.” A pet is FOREVER.
They will gladly love you forever. Are you prepared to love them forever?
This holiday season, I encourage you to go to your local shelter and take a look at the animals within, adopt a senior, adopt an adult or adopt from a rescue. I beg you, don’t pass by the older dogs and go straight to the puppies.
Everyone is there to adopt a puppy and puppies are a lot of work. Be that someone who chooses to adopt a Toby.
