Home Local Business Silky Sahnan: How to Tell Our Children About Our Divorce?

Silky Sahnan: How to Tell Our Children About Our Divorce?

by ECT

Telling your children that you will no longer be together is one of the toughest things a parent can do. So how do you tell them exactly? If it’s possible, it is better that both parents tell the children together. Choose a time and place that is the least disruptive to the kids’ daily routine. Be honest but do not tell them the details of why mommy and daddy are not staying together. Psychologists agree that “less is more.”

Most importantly, be certain to convey the message that it is not the kids’ fault. Tell your kids that sometimes grown-ups change the way they love each other or can’t agree on things and so they have to live apart. Reassure the children that they are not the ones to blame.

Prepare your children for the upcoming changes in their lives. As you talk to your children, explain that despite the changes that lie ahead one thing will always remain the same and that is that both mommy and daddy love them.

Allow your children to express their feelings towards the divorce. Listen. Your children may cry, or be angry, or feel sad. They may have lots of questions. Be patient with their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings by saying phrases such as:

“I know hearing about the divorce probably makes you sad.”

“I bet our divorce makes you angry”

“You probably have a lot of strong feelings about Mom and Dad right now”

Don’t expect them to understand right away. Expect the questions to continue. Continue to remind them that you love them and that everyone hopes that life will be better under the new family arrangement.

Lastly, don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember that children have a remarkable ability to heal when given the support and love they need.

If you need additional tips and advice on talking to your children, our office has a lending library with books on how to deal with divorce. Please contact the Law Offices of Silky Sahnan at 925-276-0789 for further assistance with starting your divorce


 

Silky-Profile-PictureSilky Sahnan is the owner of the Law Offices of Silky Sahnan, a Divorce and Family Law firm in Brentwood, CA.  Her team focuses on divorce, legal separation, annulment, custody and visitation, child support, and property division.

To contact the Law Offices of Silky Sahnan call (925) 276-0789 or email  [email protected]. The information in this article is not intended as legal advice. For specific legal advice in your situation, please contact me and we can schedule a consultation.

 

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